Breast Cancer

3 hours of my evening were spent at the volunteer care clinic. I really enjoyed my time there once again, but it helped me see the sometimes painful nature of working in the field of healthcare. This Hispanic lady came in with a complaint of pain in her right breast. The doctor had her lift up her shirt and I saw my first breast (not counting nursing women). The novelty faded quickly though as the doctor told her it was probably cancer. Cancer! The woman is only 41, and what makes matters worse is that she had first noticed the pain about a year ago. I haven't yet received any medical training on the matter, but no doubt her waiting a year has made her situation far more serious than it could have been. I sensed her embarrassment when she came in, but then I realized that what was driving her was fear. I felt like it was fear that made her wait a year to get it checked, and it is fear that finally brought her to the clinic today. She has three children and none of them is older than 14. Breast cancer is her stark reality.

The beginning

I figure this could be a good way of sharing my life with family and friends. A quick note about the title - I frequently feel that I'm wandering, in the sense that I don't really know where I'm supposed to end up or how I'm going to get there. It's almost like I'm blind and I have to feel my way through things. I believe my ramblings will show that.

I was born to be a professional student. I proved that once again this week after I scored well on my first two tests of spring term. I'm enrolled in biochemistry and cell biology. I wonder what talents or character traits I have that make me so successful in the classroom. Outside of school I think I'm rather mediocre.

During the past few weeks I've been getting the most satisfaction out of this computer course for Spanish speakers. It's helping me do something I love - learn Spanish - while being able to share some of my abilities with those who really do need help. As of yet I haven't risked talking much with the students, but occasionally I will end up having a real conversation in Spanish. My ability to speak is improving, but I feel like I've still got some cotton in my ears when it comes to understanding. It depends a lot on the person I'm talking with too, but I've still got a lot of work to do there.

I've been enrolled in an EMT class for about a month now. While I do not have any ambitions to become an EMT or paramedic I have enjoyed learning everything I have. Plus I've taken my first vitals as a result of the class. Little things like that boost my confidence little be little. I'm not looking forward to finishing the approximately 70 patient assessments I need to do in the next month. If you have any children you would like me to assess please let me know!

During spring term I have been shadowing a doctor from the Department of Health. It was not exactly the kind of doctor I expected to shadow for the "internship" I signed up for. He doesn't really practice medicine for his day job, although he does do some on the side. His main position is squarely in the field of public health. I know there's a relation there, but I'd like to be involved in medicine on a personal basis. I have been a little frustrated and bored with some of the things we've done, such as sit in on county commissioner meetings, go through his mail, and see the art gallery at the health department. I did enjoy the evening he volunteered at a clinic. I got to work on my Spanish there a bit too. But besides that we connected personally with people who needed help. That brought satisfaction.

My frustrations grew this past week after I went to class and listened to the cool things others were doing for their internships, like observing surgeries. Oh well. I do get a lot of opportunities to talk with my doctor, and he is supportive and interested in my career, so I guess I can't complain too much.

Last night a lot of people in the ward got together to play wallyball, missionary tag, cops and robbers, and then watch a movie. I ditched before the movie so I could learn about ATP synthesis and the electron transport chain. (At 10 PM, and yes my studying was actually surprisingly productive.) After I escaped the cops and we were waiting for the last stragglers, I thought, "This is just the kind of thing we're told not to do by general authorities - hanging out." For better or worse though we had a good time hanging out last night. When the honest alternative would be nothing at all social, I don't really think hanging out is so bad.

I'm listening to grooveshark. It's my new imeem, only better. I used to have this massive playlist on imeem of about 400 songs. Well that's massive for me anyways. When imeem got taken over by myspace it really ticked me off. There went my playlist! With grooveshark I've started making that list again. It has the convenience of making playlists like imeem, but with a much smoother setup. It's been a daily diversion for the last couple weeks. I love free music!